i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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