conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
