He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
