she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i think i just lost a toe
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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