Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
