what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
