I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
