he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
