I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
