Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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