READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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