hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
