Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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