elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
