i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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