He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
