Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
