There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
