I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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