Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
