I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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