She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
