tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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