I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
