what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
