I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
