she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
