yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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