he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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