If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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