I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize