There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
