my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
