JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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