oh god the rape fog is back!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
