Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
