She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
