He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wear drunk well.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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