i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize