Sry I called you an 8
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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