Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize