Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
