What a fucking waste of an outfit
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
