he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
