i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
