when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you had me at cake vodka
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
