I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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