From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
