so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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