i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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