You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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