i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
