AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?