I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices