I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.