I accidentally had phone sex last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.