Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster