so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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