GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
