she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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