Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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