Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
our cab driver is having phone sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
