I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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