They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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