no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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