Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
