i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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