I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
