at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Your penis caused this!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
