Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

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(410): View more from Maryland

So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.

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(323): View more from California

Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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(210): View more from Texas

I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.

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(720): View more from Colorado

These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.

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(815): View more from Illinois

being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.

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